My best friend's wedding is rapidly approaching and I could not be happier for her. She is marrying an amazing guy would truly loves and adores her. I thank God that He put the two of them together.
I have three best friends. This is my last single one. I am now the only one left. This has been something very hard for me to deal with and even more so this year with J getting married and myself turning the big 25.
Growing up I always dreamed of one day getting married and having children. That's all I've ever wanted out of life for as long as I can remember. In high school I was the "mom" of our group. I even got Mom birthday cards. I was always the level headed one who looked out for everyone in our large group of friends. I loved every minute of it.
I had this picture in my head that I would either marry my high school sweeheart or meet an awesome guy in college, be engaged our senior year, and then get married right out of college. Well, my high school sweetheart and I didn't last and I never met anyone in college.
Here I am, 25, with no aspects to speak of. Yes, I am healthy. Yes, I have a great job (especially since being promoted!). Yes, I have a loving family and amazing friends. But, at the end of the day, I want that fairytale. I want to be able to come home to someone who is my best friend. Don't get me wrong, I have my friends, but their spouses are their best friends.
I hear all the time that I am still young, but it's hard to see all of these girls that I went to high school with getting married. Now, some are having multiple babies. Ten years ago, if you had told me some of them would be married before me I would have laughed in your face. I guess because this has truly been my lifelong dream, it's just hard to swallow that others are living out my dream before me.
Here is my cross road. Here, publicly (well, sort of) I am vowing to NOT worry about it anymore. Worrying never solves anything and it certainly won't solve this. I know that God has a plan and, considering where I am working, it obviously isn't what I had planned.
So, I'll quit.
I follow Leslie over at A Blonde Ambition. The other day she posted about meeting her fiance and quoted an amazing verse.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Ever since reading this I have not been able to get it out of my head. It's exactly what I needed. I have printed it out and it is hanging right next to my computer so I can be reminded of God's amazing plan for me.
One day, I hope to look back and laugh at this post and tell my younger self to have hope. However, I don't know what the future holds. Only God does. All I can do is pray that my dreams come true. Until then, I'll continue to work on myself (down 45 pounds, woo hoo!), cherish my friends and family, and enjoy each day that God has given me. Who knows, maybe my prince is around the next corner :)
Erin
0 comments:
Post a Comment